wondered what it would be like to put Bertie Wooster into space. The result
was Jolly Old Aliens, What?
I can see it as an excellent
vehicle for the likes of Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry, and Hugh Laurie.
The tagline came quite
easily: "In space, no-one can hear you scream: 'Jeeves! You forgot my bloody
And I can readily hear
Hugh Laurie uttering the immortal words: "I Say, That Chap's Got Two Heads!"
Here's how I think it
The British upper classes
like to go where no man has dared to go before. Up impossibly craggy mountains,
down unfathomably deep holes in the ground, and along salt flats faster
than a speeding bullet fired from a flintlock musket.
It's to be expected then
that Lord Humphrey "Humpers" Doddering-Snoot and his chums would be the
first to explore interstellar travel in their craft the SS Lord Fauntleroy,
handbuilt by the family's carriagemaker and commanded by a semi-conscious
neural cluster chappie affectionately called Smithers.
After a period of suspended
animation, or as Humpers calls it, forty million winks, the intrepid explorers
and their retinue arrive at the planet TR-Z01KP - or as Humpers calls it,
Bertie - and after a much needed cup of tea and some top hole cucumber
sandwiches, Humpers and his party sallies forth to say "What Ho!" very
loudly to the indigenous species.
For, as anyone in the
upper echelons will tell you, all foreigners understand English if you
shout it loudly enough.
The story about to unfold
is filled with spiffing adventures involving absolute bounders, jolly japes,
wizard prangs, not to mention the odd spot of cricket, footer, rugger,
snooker and of course, time out for tea and crumpets all round.
And wouldn't you know
it, the bally idea's already undergoing revision (watch this space. Or
some space that looks quite like it).